The Mindful Blonde

As women, getting our monthly cycle is something we tend to wish away, only considering the inconvenience of it. For most of us, myself included, it isn’t until we stop getting a regular cycle that we start to appreciate how incredible our bodies are at taking care of us and knowing how to tell us when something is off.

Most of us are taught that getting our period is our bodies way of telling us we’re not pregnant, but the truth is, getting (or not getting) our regular cycle can tell us so much more about the health of our bodies as a whole. An irregular period is often the first sign that something is off, whether that be hormone imbalance, issues with our bone health, thyroid function, adrenal function, or unhealthy weight management. In my case, there were so many things that my body was trying to tell me, but it wasn’t until I slowed down and started to actually listen and make the lifestyle changes I needed to that I was able to find peace with my body, and get my regular cycle back.

When I was a teenager, my cycle was always regular, and I didn’t give it much of a second thought. When I was around 21 years old, I decided to start taking birth control pills to help the skin issues I was facing. At the time it seemed like a quick and easy fix, and I really would have done anything for clear skin at that point my life, so despite the physical, mental and emotional shifts I experienced, I stayed on it for 4 years. But once I started to educate myself on the potential effects of birth control, I began to realize I was causing myself more problems than I was solving.

During those 4 years I was on birth control, I had also made major changes in my lifestyle and diet, so by the time I decided to quit birth control, I was nothing but excited, because I was confident that those diet and lifestyle changes had been, and would continue to sustain my clear skin.

After quitting, my cycle came back like clock-work! This definitely isn’t the case for everyone, but trusting in the process and knowing your body is always working for you, not against you, can help with this transition. My body initially readjusted quickly, but each of us is different, so please remember to give your body the time and respect it needs to find its proper balance.

For six months post birth control, everything seemed totally normal as far as my cycle was concerned, until one day it just vanished. Naturally, I blamed the pill for messing with my hormones, but I now know that for me that was not the case. I was suffering from orthorexia and disordered eating, but at the time I had no idea that I had a problem.

Along with my non-existent cycle, I was dealing with various health issues including dermatitis, fatigue, vertigo, and more, and was determined to use food as the source to heal all my problems, along with 100’s of supplements and seeing many practitioners. I saw pretty much every type of doctor you can think of - nutritionists, naturopaths, functional medicine doctors, you name it. And while I believe there is a time and place for each of these practitioners, none of them could seem to find the source of these specific issues I was facing. I took countless tests, but there didn’t seem to be any consistency in the results, I just knew there was something wrong.

I became so obsessed with this condition, and would try anything and everything to try to remedy it. I was becoming obsessive over food, and my mental state was suffering because of it. I was scared to eat certain foods, eating out was a nightmare, and I began to realize that it didn’t really matter how healthy I ate, because I was completely engulfed in my toxic emotions. For the last two years, I was consumed by toxic thoughts - obsessing over health conditions and using food and supplements to control fear based emotions. My body was in a constant state of fight or flight, and I finally realized I needed to make a change to my mindset and my mental health before my physical health was going to improve.

It’s no secret that meditation has made an incredible impact in my life, and this is where it all began. Meditation is without a doubt the #1 resource to getting my cycle back. It truly saved my health, and possibly my life, because I had gotten to a point where I felt so helpless. It wasn’t until I acknowledged that no doctor, or supplement, or diet was going to change what was happening inside of me until I changed my mindset, that I was able to start healing.

If I’m being honest, meditation was my last hope at this point. I didn’t know anything about it and I was far from being in a good place mentally, but even on the days I spent hiding in bed and crying myself to sleep, I started making small changes. I commited to mediating every single day using Dr. Joe D’s morning meditation app, and began to teach myself emotionally what health felt like.

If you’ve ever been in a dark place, you know that you can get so used to feeling awful, that you can forget what happiness, gratitude, peace and joy feel like. So just like I’ve had to practice any other skill in life, I had to practice what health and healing felt like.

I started visualizing my future self, and taught myself what those positive emotions really felt like ahead of the actually experience. I got specific! I visualized my period coming back, my skin being clear, having lots of energy and thriving! I learned to open my heart, and find even just a little bit of gratitude during those first mediations. It took weeks before I noticed changes, but 4 months later, my cycle finally came back, and I felt better than I had in years, physically, emotionally and mentally. I learned new emotions, and felt things I hadn’t before that created new neurological pathways and broke down the control and anxiety that I lived with for a long time.

Living in my fear-based emotions was such a difficult time in my life, and that’s why I’m so passionate about sharing this practice with all of you, and why I work with clients one-on-one to help them better understand the process of meditation and healing.

Since I’ve gotten my cycle back, I realized how much shame I used to feel, and how much inconvenience I had associated with having my cycle years ago. It wasn’t until I lost it, and embraced a new mindset, that I was able to appreciate what a gift it truly is to experience a monthly cycle. Recently I started using a product called Organi Cup , a menstrual cup with a mission to eliminate the shame that surrounds being a menstruating woman. I was hesitant at first to stray from tampons which I’ve used for years, but creating less waste, decreasing my risk of TSS (Toxic Shock Syndrome), and being a part of a much bigger movement made the transition much easier. {You can use the code MINDFUL20 for 20% off your very own!}

As women, and as humans, I think it’s so important that we embrace getting comfortable and personal with our bodies - physically, mentally, and emotionally. Our bodies are so intelligent, and if we listen, they speak to us in ways we cannot ignore, and when we listen, we can make changes in our lives we never thought were possible. As trying as those few years of my life were, I am so grateful for my journey because of where it has brought me today, and for the new connection I’ve found with myself. I am so confident that if you take the time, and investment in yourself, you’ll find that kind of overwhelming life change too.